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Birds of Prey: The Feathered Killing Machines

I heard the very loud call of kree!...kree! and then I looked down and saw the One-eyed Pirate. His face is covered with streams of blood and I can see he can't wipe it out of his eyes. He looks like someone shot him at close range in the head. It looks worse than it is.

"Gawd dammit Jaguar!" I heard Pirate yell. "Get 'er away from me!" he chuckled to himself.

Of course, there's no way I was able to keep her away from her territorial imperative.

Then...here came the call; kree...kree again. This time I heard AND saw her. She stoops, in a short but quick dive....And then suddenly...BAM! She screamed down and hammered the Pirate's head. More blood poured from One-eyed's scalp. Male prairie falcons are protective too but they are only 1/3rd the size of females. The females are killing machines, inherited from their ancient raptor ancestors; the dinosaurs.

"Yeow! Fuck that hurts!" One-eyed Pirate said as he rubbed his head. His hand is now slippery with his own blood.

I laughed and it echoed against the canyon walls, fading out somewhere into Purgatory Canyon.

One-eyed gives up and lowers himself down onto the talus slope in one of the "finger canyons", Poitrey Canyon and the screeching goes away. She was a very aggressive prairie falcon. I put on a climbing saddle and hook the rope on it. I lower myself as quickly as possible, down along the canyon wall to take a look at him. It was funny as hell and I was laughing all the way down.

"It ain't funny you fucker." he says as I look at the cuts which are now streaming blood and caking in his hair.

"I wonder where the male is?" One-eyed says looking up the canyon wall.

The males aren't nearly as big, but can be just as aggressive.

"Next time, I am bringing my hard hat." The Pirate swears.

Most falcons are very protective of their nests but not as much as this prairie falcon. Usually they would get upset, scream at you and fly around a lot. This one definitely wanted us to go away. I look up behind me and see them both fly into their nest on the ledge of the cliff.

Feathered Killing Machines: A Brief Introduction to Raptors
Not all birds of prey (raptors) are the same. There are falcons, buteos and accipiters. Loosely, they are classified and identified by their wing shapes. The largest bird of prey is the magnificent American Harpy Eagle. With a six foot (1.83 meters) wing span, this bird can seriously mess you up. Fortunately, they exist in the tropics of South America.

The ornithologists that study them wear hard hats and thick leather jackets, which ultimately get ripped to shreds. Otherwise their skin would be shredded by the Harpy's back talons. You could be seriously injured. A Harpy would easily make your dog or cat a lunch. I have seen films of them and they nab sloths and monkeys for breakfast. Here's an example from Google Video . Note the size of the legs and claws on this feathered beast.

In 1972 the pesticide DDT was banned in the U.S. We were in this canyon to see what affect, if any, the ban on DDT had made on breeding. DDT (dichloro-diphenyl-trichloroethane) at one time was ubiquitous and it was thought that it made the shells of eggs of birds of prey very thin and then crushed by the parents in the nest. This caused the dramatic decline in raptors and peregrine falcons that once existed in New York City near Central Park and had all but vanished.

We found in only a few years that their numbers had increased dramatically. We were checking this by counting unbroken eggs in nests of prairie falcons that resided on ledges of canyon walls. This canyon in Colorado had prairie falcon nests every mile or two.

The Buteos
Ferruginous hawk - Buteo regalis
On our way to the canyons of the Eastern Colorado plains, we passed through the grasslands of the Southern Great Plains, in particular the Cimarron National Grassland. The grasslands were/are part of the habitat of the Ferruginous hawks; the largest of the hawks. They are a magnificent bird. Watching a Ferruginous hawk hunt is boring. They are a lazy hunter and they do a lot of ground hunting. In other words, they find a mammal hole in the ground and sit there and wait until their meal appears. They are quite successful and efficient at doing this.

Red-Tailed hawk - Buteo jamaicensis
These birds are everywhere and have benefited greatly from humans in terms of habitat. If you have spent any time on the Great Plains or Midwestern U.S. or just about anywhere in the U.S., you have probably seen them. The are the ones that are making "lazy circles in the sky". Like most buteos/hawks they are lazy fliers. The prefer soaring to flapping their wings and hover or "kite" above their prey. I have seen them carrying off jack rabbits and if they are really hungry they will eat fresh road kill.

The Golden eagle - Aquila chrysaetos
Golden eagles are magnificent as well. We are on the edge of their breeding range. The Kazakhs in the remote mountains of Western Mongolia hunt animals as large as wolves with these incredible birds. I have never seen this but I am sure it would be an incredible hunt to witness. Golden eagles hunt best in pairs, they work as partners. One Golden will flush the prey while the other comes in for the kill with its talons brandished and then WHAM, an explosion of fur. Eagles are the bombers in the world of raptors. They are big, deadly, precise and work well together.

The courtship displays are an amazing characteristic of many eagles, especially Golden eagles. They perform on the wing, an amazing cartwheeling display. I have witnessed this several times and this cartwheeling behavior is truly breathtaking. Note: I have only been able to find this video in RealAudio format. It is worth viewing however.

The Accipiters
Cooper's hawk - Accipiter cooperii
Of the accipiters my favorite are the Cooper's hawk. Cooper's hawks are beautiful and they are incredible hunters. Like most accipiters their hunting abilities are specialized more in tactical hunting; darting in and out of the bush with great agility and quickness. Their stealthiness is uncanny and their prey never knows what hit them.

For me, a Cooper's hawk is nature's Apache helicopter. They see their prey off in the distance, lock in on that prey, then using vegetation and brush as their cover, they go in for the kill. Watching a Cooper's hawk hunt is an exciting sight to see. If they were a character in a video game, they would devastate their enemy.

The Falcons
American Kestrel (Sparrow hawk) falcon- Falco sparverius
The smallest of the North American falcons is the American kestrel. They are about the size of a robin or grackle of the Southwest U.S. American kestrel are also one of the most beautiful, in terms of their coloration.

They are fierce and fearless hunters. Lizards, mice and voles are their largest prey. But because of their size they are the only falcon preyed upon by other raptors; like Golden eagles, prairie and peregrine falcons.

The Fastest Animal on Earth: Peregrine falcon - Falco peregrinus
Easily, the fastest, most efficient animal on earth is the Peregrine falcon. They have been clocked at speeds approaching 200 mph (322 kph), in a full stoop. I have been witness to a number of hunts with a falconer that trained peregrine falcons.

The Peregrine is released and it then circles the field climbing to an altitude where she is completely out of sight high above the terrain and falconer. This is called "waiting on". The falconer then flushes the prey (a game bird) out from a bush. Next in a matter of seconds, out of a 180 mph (290 kph) stoop, there is an explosion of feathers, the Peregrine has made its kill, with the speed and agility like no other animal on earth. It would be unusual for its prey to survive. It happens so fast, with such speed and ferocity that you never see the bird in the stoop (dive). You only see the burst of feathers as the falcon strikes her prey with her back talons. There is no other sight quite like it.

Falconry: The Sport of Kings - A Very Brief Intro
The sport of falconry is a complete article in itself. However, very few people should practice falconry. It is all-consuming and must be an obsession. Falconry is demanding and the slightest neglect can end in tragedy for the bird. Falconry requires hours of care and training of the bird. Because the bird is dependent entirely on the falconer, it also means you have to have freshly killed wild meat available daily with no exceptions. This means absolutely no meat from a supermarket. Eventually, most falconers release their bird when they are of breeding age. Raptors cannot be kept as pets as one can with other types of birds.

If you would like to consider falconry you should spend at least a month with an experienced falconer. Only then can you decide if you can do it. If you want to read about the lore, training and practice of falconry, there is only one book to read, "A Hawk for the Bush", by J. P. Mavrogordato. This book is THE book on falconry.

"Which came first Jaguar, the chicken or the egg?" One-eyed asked me once.
"Dunno fuck face, I suppose the egg." I answer him trying to be sarcastic and waiting for his answer.
"When will you learn?...the dinosaur came first, you idiot." he laughs.

The Ancient Arachno-Terrorist Organization : AATO

The Arachno Terrorists
I dropped Rick off at his farm house. Being late summer he slept out on the back porch where it is nice and cool. I told him I would pick him up in the morning.

The next day I went to pick him up to take him to work. He greets me at the front door wearing cutoffs and a shirt.

"What the hell happened to you last night??" I asked looking at his legs.

His legs are covered with dozens of ugly tiny red marks about the size of an average zit.

"I need to go to the hospital. I am not feeling so good." he tells me.

"A nest of fiddlebacks got in bed with me last night. I was gangbanged."

"Oh my gawd..." I say in horror.

He was bitten in the classic way; in a bed, in a dark, dry area, in Oklahoma. Just over a week later those bites became large open sores, that if left untreated would look much like this. WARNING: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC PHOTOGRAPH.

Fortunately, Rick was treated in time so that he only had open sores about the size of an American quarter. After it was all over with (six months later) he ended up with large "pits" on his legs where the bites healed and the flesh had rotted away. Because the bite does not heal properly, people get serious Staphylococcus infections, if left untreated.

Most of what follows is anecdotal and I am not an arachnologist but long before Google or Alta Vista started crawling the web, there were crawling Arachnida; eight legged creatures that many people fear. This fear is known as Arachnophobia.

Arachnids are not insects (which are six legged). Of all the bugs, they are the most ancient and the most primitive. The main way to identify arachnids are their eight legs and two body segments, though there are some that appear to have only six legs. Most other bugs you will see are six-legged and 3 visible body segments, otherwise known as insects. Other than spiders, other arachnids are scorpions, mites, ticks and false scorpions to name just a few. Have you ever had the "crabs" or scabies? Been bitten by blood sucking ticks or have Lyme Disease? Have you had a near death experience from a Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever? All of these diseases are caused by arachnids.

Brown recluse (Loxosceles reclusa)
The venom from a brown recluse spider (Loxosceles reclusa, AKA fiddleback spider) is extremely toxic to humans and includes the following enzymes: a protease, an esterase, and a hyaluronidase, all three enzymes cause complete breakdown of human flesh; a necrotic ulcer. In other words, it rots your flesh and heals extremely slow. However, the venom is not fatal and rarely if ever causes death. Consider this though: What would happen to you if a snake injected this type of venom? Their venom when injected into their natural prey almost instantly liquefies the victim's insides so that the fiddleback can suck them out, rather like sucking a chocolate malt out through a straw. Yummy...

Fiddlebacks inhabit about 1/3 of the U.S. and more southern climates. There is a species that is slightly different that inhabits the Southwestern U.S. Where I live in West Texas, I have known a number of people that have been bit by the Southwestern version of these nasty little beasts and the bite has caused considerable problems. One man I know had recurring problems for several years. These vicious beasts are not aggressive and only bite if their primitive brains feel quite threatened. The best way to avoid these little shops of horror is to know their habitat.

Most fiddlebacks love dark, dry places like closets, garages and crawl spaces in attics. I have found them in my closets that I don't use much. Hint: if you need to go into one of these areas, place a bright light where you will be, for about 30-60 minutes. This should clear them into areas you will most likely will not intrude. For the extreme arachnophobe, completely cover your body with clothing and cover your face. I had a female friend rush into an old closet to find a stored blanket and she was bit on the face. She eventually had to have plastic surgery. I have never heard of Arachniphilia but just in case guys...don't shake it at a fiddleback, use your imagination instead.

Black Widows (Latrodectus mactans)
There is considerable lore about this orb spider and this is the time of year they are quite visible (late summer and early fall).

I have kept a number of spiders as pets in an aquarium. The most scary spiders are the most docile...tarantulas and wolf spiders. If you see these in the wild or your house, leave them alone. They will devour other pests in your house namely cockroaches. Both tarantulas and wolf spiders like human companionship. The reason, I am told, is because of our body heat.

Black Widows on the other hand scare me to death and are the most venomous spider in North America. They are an orb spider that many times will be outside spinning webs this time of the year. Being bit by one of these sweethearts (always a female) injects a neurotoxin into your skin that is 15 times more powerful than the bite of a prairie rattlesnake (also a neurotoxin) per volume. You will not feel the bite. Luckily for humans, it injects a minute amount of venom.

By the way, black widows rarely eat the males they mate with as is commonly thought.

Black Widow venom starts to act rather quickly. First, you begin to have abdominal pains, gastrointestinal pains, muscular pains and pain on the soles of your feet. Paralysis of your diaphragm can occur and your eyelids can swell up. If you let the bite go up to this point, you're going to feel rather fucked up. If you have heart or lung problems, you could die from either a heart attack or from suffocation because of paralysis of your diaphragm. Lovely, isn't it?

Safe insecticides are not effective against spiders. The best way to control them is to not create habitats for them in the first place and to be careful when you are around them outside in their habitat. Keep them out of your house by keeping it clean and being careful when you do spring cleaning and wear gloves.

The Arachno-Terrorists' Minions: Ticks
If certain spiders are the field generals, then ticks are their minions...by the bazillions. When I lived in the forests of the Pacific Northwest years ago, at least once a month the subject of ticks would come up. Strangely, most incidents of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever occur in South Carolina and Oklahoma.

Black Legged Tick, Deer Tick, American Dog Tick, Rocky Mountain Wood Tick...scary shit
If you go out in the woods much then you will run into ticks. Their ability to inflict disease is related to their one purpose; to suck your blood. You can get infested with ticks in a matter of seconds and feel them crawling about but not see them, unless they have stopped and have started engorging themselves with your blood. I have seen ticks so big from sucking on a host animal that they look like they would explode from the blood sucking orgy.

One time in Mexico, I made the mistake of taking a piss stop in the middle of a field of dead palmeto trees. Before I could zip up my pants, I felt this crawling itching feeling on my legs. When I got back in the car I realized what had happened. It wasn't until later that my girlfriend spent 2 hours picking them off one by one from my genital area. Luckily, I was not infected with a disease.

You don't get one tick bite, you get dozens and they feast on you like you were their last meal. Some sources say that you only get an infection if you pull them out by grabbing their bellies which have your blood in them. This injects any of the diseases they carry. I've tried many non-squeezing methods of getting them off of me and the only way is using tweezers and pulling them out by their little heads.

Scorpions and Whip Scorpions: I hate 'em, I love 'em
My favorite of all arachnids are scorpions and especially the vinegaroons or whip scorpions. Nothing scares people more than these two creatures. Vinegaroons are especially scary.

Scorpions are generally thought of as desert creatures; they're not. Scorpions like the warmer climates and are also distributed all over the earth. One year in Oklahoma I lived in a ranch house and when I moved in I noticed there were no cockroaches. Two nights later I found out why. The place was overrun with scorpions. At the time I was working in a greenhouse so I brought home from work a 1 quart fruit jar 3/4th full of formaldehyde. Each time I saw one scatter across the floor I grabbed it with a pair of 18 inch long forceps. By the end of the summer the fruit jar was stuffed full of scorpions and I now had a cockroach problem...nature's way.

Scorpion venom is also a neurotoxin. Not only that, but unlike other arachnida they can control how much venom they can inject. If they fully inject their victim with all their venom it takes several days for them to refill their venom sacs. Though not usually fatal, their sting is very painful. Most species of scorpions are NOT poisonous but this depends on what habitat you live in. In the U.S. very few people are killed by scorpion stings. This is due to the fact that most poisonous scorpions live in remote Southwestern U.S. deserts.

Of all the arachids, vinegaroons are indeed the most benign. They look like the beast from hell but the ones in North and Central America are harmless as they have no venom gland. They make good if not ugly pets. The beast looks as though it would rip you a new one but their only defense is a strong vinegar smell they squirt you with when startled or threatened.

The Return of the Monster King
Vinegaroons used to be real common where I live. I never saw many scorpions here and five years ago was the last time I had seen a vinegaroon. Early one morning in the middle of the night I was startled awake by thunder. I walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. I was very startled when I turned on the light and saw by the back door a huge vinegaroon who had come in from the rain. I picked him up and let him warm up on my arm before I turned him loose outside in the ivy.

I was thankful that the rain had brought them out, so I turned off the coffee and went back to bed...for dreams of vinegaroons, the king of arachnids.